In a recent New York Times article the journalist offered a solution to people not being hired because of some physical flaw in their appearance:
A more radical solution may be needed: why not offer legal protections to the ugly, as we do with racial, ethnic and religious minorities, women and handicapped individuals?
Legal protections for people who are “looked over” because they are hard to “look at”. Or, as we would say in the backwoods of North Carolina, “Bless his/her heart!! He/She is so ugly their mama tied a pork chop around their neck to get the dog to play with them”. Now, if I understand the law (I have contacted my legal counsel but have not heard back from him. Thus, I contacted 1-800-Get-Lawyer and am eagerly awaiting one of these 5 lawyers to reply.) concerning discrimination two things must be proven. First, it must be proven that you were discriminated against. If that cannot be proven then the next step is null and void. If one can prove discrimination then one has to prove they are ugly.
With that test case scenario, I thought I would contemplate who I could sue. You see, I pass the ugly part very easily. Any judge with enough vision to see how to open a door can see I am ugly. Now to prove I was discriminated against.
SBC Voices does not link to any of my articles on my blog. Thus, I believe Dave Miller and the gang are discriminating against me because I am ugly. SBC Today certainly does not discriminate against me as they are beginning to place pictures beside the posts. Praisegod Barebones has not commented nor linked to one of my posts lately. It has to be due to the fact I am ugly. Brad Whitt just does not compliment me any longer and doesn’t comment on my blog. I know he thinks I am ugly, he has told me as much. The boys over at the SEBTS blog do not link to my posts. I wonder if they think I must be ugly.
Peter Lumpkins claims that he cannot log onto my website. I believe he is discriminating against me because I am ugly. He certainly can get here if he wants but he chooses not to be associated with me because I am ugly. Howell Scott, and I must be careful how I speak about my legal counsel, has not visited my site to log a comment in a long while. He must be discriminating against me because I am ugly. I know it is because he comments everywhere else. Shoot, he even has a post over at SBC Voices. They even second-run his articles. It is the same with William Thornton. He also must be discriminating against me because I am ugly. But, William may be too busy checking the salaries of pastors to care if I am ugly or not. That brings about another thought. Maybe William can check the salaries of ugly pastors versus good looking pastors. Better yet, maybe he could check the good looking denomination leaders versus the ugly denominational leaders.
This has been fun, but before you laugh too loud and long. Consider this.
We actually already do offer such protections in a few places, including in some jurisdictions in California, and in the District of Columbia, where discriminatory treatment based on looks in hiring, promotions, housing and other areas is prohibited.
I am waiting for the Equal Opportunity Program for Ugly People to be put in place. That way I can then apply for a denomination position and if I get turned down, I will have a case because I am ugly.